Thinking of the Post War generation
Perhaps the disillusionment of many of that after war generation, made them warn their children and grandchildren or got those thinking differently because them hearing our frustration by how it all turned out in the 50ies and golden sixties.
We had learned from the stories of camaraderie in the two world wars, but also learned how systems could go seriously wrong, by hearing the stories from those who had lived in Tsarist Russia and/or got to face and could escape the Soviet system or could survive the war-camps in Europe and Asia. This could make us think a lot, but seemed also to get certain people wishing to impose the ‘American dream‘ onto European soil. According to me, excuse me Americans, a lot started to grow wrongly. Children got spoiled with all sorts of new things. Their eyes did not seem to see the value of all those new gadgets like compact cassette recorders, compact disks and mini-disk recorders, soon to be taken in by MP3 players. Once the electronic technology got a foot in the doorstep the personal computer as never anything did, conquered the houses all over the country. Technology had won new war, whereby the human soul was killed.
Soon messages between friends also could be sent by compact cassettes instead of by written words on a postcard or in a letter.
In my childhood it was not made easy for us to make friends. Every person who we wanted to introduce to our parents as our ‘schoolmate‘ or our ‘friend‘ had to be subjected to an interview ‘under four eyes’. Though we had learned to express our respect to our governess, house teacher, maids, kitchen staff, gardener and other working personal of my parents it was not always easy to introduce friends from other classes.
Early in life I chose to go into against the wishes of my parents, which got me some ‘secession of the family‘ for some years. Grown up with a lot of luxury, having seen the way of life in different classes, I changed ways learning also to cope to live on dry bread and syrup to give the water some flavour. From the gold I sometimes came to see the black snow. Out of respect to my family I worked under a different name (my stage name and a pseudonym for my writings) for many years and managed to build up my own family life, with a diversity of friends.
By choice of profession
At balletschool, I had the privilege to have teachers from all sorts of nationalities, speaking all sorts of languages … making that I still can not speak or write one language decently.
Of those teachers the real Soviet, ditto communist, teachers got me thinking a lot about certain ways people went to live. Being confronted with defectors to the West I found myself getting also acquaintances from opposing countries and from those making cold war nations.
By my profession, having been in contact with several sorts of Russians, having come to understand how intelligence forces twist the truth and send false messages into the world to deceive the people, I got to see through the propaganda world of both sites. I could notice how my colleagues in the Soviet Union were treated differently and got many privileges up to when they showed sympathy with the West or worse for the state, defeated, choosing to flee to the West. Then they were wiped out of history. I saw different faces disappearing from the photographs on the walls of the Ballet-school and theatres in Saint Petersburg and other Soviet Union institutions. Certain people I got to know better also seemed to disappear in oblivion when their interest in the West had grown.
Reading Soviet Weekly, having the Pravda (Truth) ‘on my lap’, able to compare it with the Daily and Sunday Telegraph, Times and the Observer, plus every Wednesday the Guardian, I got a view from both sites, having friends on both sites, which some would call the magic West and the foul communists. Later the British national morning newspaper Independent which, at its start, had as banner to be “free from party political bias, free from proprietorial influence”, could tempt me reading it daily.
The choice of daily reading material created also the social gathering of like-minded people.
(Though I noticed how my mother, with her first prize for piano, from the Conservatoire de Paris, often was frustrated not having the capability any more to play more the piano and to enjoy the art of music.)
Because of the troubles in my parental home, because of my choice for a profession which was considered to be the dirtiest of professions a person could do for a living, I was pushed in certain situations I would not wish anybody to undergo.
I started learning the existence of all sorts of friendships which were never spoken off at home. Many of my friends, who had chosen for such other kind of friendship, I must say, are not any more part of this world. Some of them had been faithful to their partner, while others did not build up what I would call an real intense spiritual friendship. Some, I do agree, had chosen to come to a sort of sexual friendship, with or without boundaries.
Friendships and sex
Many people in the 1970ies seem to leave the Romantic friendship for what it was. Both members having romantic feelings for each other, seemed not any more necessary, neither coming to a committed relationship. More and more people seemed to find it strange a person could be asexual or celibate, having romantic relationships without sex. Several people could not understand that a couple may choose to have this type of relationship for a variety of reasons.
Sexual activity with at least one friend at some time in their life was not found any more a restricting matter. People found they had to try out others sexually before going into a deeper relationship. Not always intentions were very clear for both parties and we could find many people hurt. In the 1970ies we could find friends who suddenly got uncertainty about where their friendship (relationship?) had headed. Many found they could not accurately “read” their friend’s intentions. Those women mostly wanting a deeper relationship but not sure they would get it an other way.
It was the “pivot of change” in world history, where economic liberty of women continued to grow and the “Me’ Decade” substantially got form. The individual as the ‘atom’ of our society got more self- interested and did not any more wanted to sacrifice a portion of their individual rights in order to form a social contract or bond with the other persons in society. I with many friends and many others of the hippie movement had opted for the coming together with many in unity and willingness to share everything to make it easier for everybody to have a pleasant life. Having come from what they called the ‘better class’ and knowing the working of the proletariat I wanted to see everybody working and contributing for the whole society, but willing to share the knowledge and earnings with others. Many of the Babyboom generation were convinced that we needed a connection between the individual and the community. For us individuality is a product of community relationships rather than only individual traits.
Back to the Source
Money and economical gain were not the priorities for the Baby Boomers. Some might have considered us “the pig in the python” rejecting or giving a redefinition to traditional values. Though I do think we just got such real Judeo-Christian values implanted in our brains, many of us went to the cornerstone of that Christian Faith and found in the Nazarene Jew Jeshua (Jesus Christ) as the liberator of humankind, a master teacher of peace.
We held Festivals of Freedom and happenings against persecutions. We wanted to bring all those together, who believed they were part of this ‘bigger world”, were plants and animals had to live in union with each other. By the formation in our faith having heard many times all the stories of violence which overcame the world with two world wars, we learned strongly that no war should ever come over us again. To have no possibility of hatred we became convinced we should aim for friendship between all nations and between all cultures. Those with a Jewish or Christian background were convinced that all people should come to see all the wonders God brought unto the earth to show His Greatness. We also considered all equal and loved others to come to realise that only by giving each other equal rights we could build up a thoroughly founded staying friendship.
Social and economic order
Having parents bounded by their religious community, the parish and the religious establishment, the Church we had a feeling those religious institution ‘played with the devil’, wondering what pope Pius XI had done for our Jewish compatriots. In his Quadragesimo AnnoPius XI discussed the ethical implications of the social and economic order. He described the major dangers for human freedom and dignity arising from unrestrained capitalism and totalitarian communism and called for the reconstruction of the social order based on the principle of solidarity and subsidiarity.
The West European babyboomers got a new social conscience sawn by that Catholic church where the pope and some priests played a strange role, while other priests and nuns helped many to escape death by the Nazi-regime. Within the Catholic Church, several conflicting views had developed and lots of youngsters did find it was better to go to the source of it all, the teachings of Jesus Christ.
Pope Pius XI proclaimed private property to be essential for the development and freedom of the individual, but now the new generation believed that a shared property would take away the strive between people. It was not that we denied private property and as such would deny personal freedom and development. By sharing certain goods there would be nothing against working for some personal gain, in case it was not done on the back of others. We like Pius XI accepted that private property has a social function as well. Private property loses its morality if it is not subordinated to the common good. Therefore governments should have a right to pursue redistribution policies. In extreme cases, the Pope recognised also that the State has a right to expropriate private property.
What disturbed us much (and still does disturb) was the relation between capital and labour and the determination of fair wages. Sharp opposite camps had been created based on patrimony and on income, which we would have nothing against in case everybody got respected and would have been enabled to have a descent living. Now we saw too much exploitation and an exclusion of certain people.
The church for centuries had for centuries told their parishioners with whom they were allowed to become befriended. Many churches told their parishioners it was sin to have contact with socialists or with communists. At the atheist comps it was the same, the parents forbidding their children making friends with those ‘yellow’ ones or the ‘Papists’.
In both camps the ones grown up in war time and just after had seen their parents arguing about silly divisions instead of helping each other out. The absurdity of war but also of the division in politics had come clear for many. Now they came to understand that the religious movement they wanted was to adapt to their environment and not the other way round. society had undergone a terrible shock and all the time it had looked if the church had stayed in its ivory tower, far away of the atrocities of war, neglecting the genocide which took place.
Clergy taking liberties
For us it was time to bring the core of the Judeo-Christian faith back into the soul and not having people to adapt silly dogmatic rules, which could be no where found in the Bible. We wanted that an end would be brought to the incumbency whereby the Upper Church tried to regulate the social force that binds the people to the courses of action demanded by the clergy.
Several of children at the time of Word War II and after got to miss their father for duties ‘for the country and found a ‘spiritual father’ who wished to have more than just a spiritual ‘friendship’. That period there have to be seen many priests and nuns with too loose hands. Lots of children told sometimes their other real friends about what happened between those adults and them, but it took years before they could speak openly about it with other adults. Many children their minds were damaged by those priest who did not seem to know the law of God about adultery and fornication and adultery.
That church which always called to her duty to
“instill a sense of duty in our children”
and said it was conscious about its task, knowing that
“every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty”
for several years had no obligation taken to protect those innocent children and to protect the value of friendship and human relations.
Years later that was going to have its consequences for those adults who had to raise the new generation, with a background of what the church had done to them and what values that world had given to brotherhood and friendship.
For some time some clergy tried to impose strange ideas in the heads of young children. Those youngsters being confronted with such actions which seemed very unnatural and imposed on them by people who had received all honour by their parents, got not only muddled up by those contradicting words and actions. They found themselves so often confronted by ‘absurd’ rules of faith and rules of conduct, of which they saw those adults did not keep themselves to it. Lots of boys who were a victim of sexual abuse did not want to know anything any more about church or religion. the responsible clergy who should have brought people to God mad a new generation of families where God and Church were to become ‘taboo’.
Often persuaded to do things they did not find logical they grew up and carried with them a sort of trauma, which would only come out many years later. They had seen a time where men went in bed with children, so for them to make a step to men going into bed with other men, not feeling guilty to enjoying the sex more than undergoing the pain they underwent as children, having an adult penetrating them, seemed more acceptable. Not to feel so guilty, they also found a change in opinion should come into the world, where it would be considered normal having people from the same sex going to have a sexual relationship with each other.
More and more people tried to convince the rest of the world nothing bad should be seen behind having friendship in such an intimate way that people of the same sex would enjoy themselves with each other sexually.
To ad new dimensions
The relationships of children with the clergy, creating a new way of thinking in adulthood, made that many also found sex could ad new dimensions to life.
Twenty years later even more men would try to persuade women into bed by telling them they love them, and that sex will add a new dimension to their relationship. Some women, on the other hand in the 90ies would persuade men into bed by saying that sex is just nothing, and it will simply be a pleasurable but meaningless experience.
Forty years later the blending of friendship with sex, was to be popping up everywhere in the new millennium. A lot more people did not mind to have a One Night Stand, more than once. That one-time sexual encounter did even not to be with an acquaintance any more, but could be enjoyed with with a stranger, whom they did not have to meet any more afterwards. Several thought they could build up a sort of friendship by meeting with someone they knew for the express purpose of having impromptu sex. Those Booty Calls could change into Fuck Buddies (FB), having such ‘friends’ in a regular sexual relationship and calling him after some time “a friend”.
Dishonesty in friendship-building
Clearly what I could see is that lots of people did not seem to find it inappropriate to be dishonest about their feelings and created for themselves a very complicated life.
The term “friends with benefits” (FWB) has become part of our vernacular in recent years and public interest in the topic appears to be surging. For example, this year alone brings two major motion pictures devoted exclusively to the subject, No Strings Attached (starring Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman) and this summer’s Friends with Benefits (starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake). The concept has also been popularized by the ongoing FWB arrangement between Vinny and Snooki on the Jersey Shore (see here for more on the Vinny/Snooki saga).
wrote ScienceOfRelationship in 2012 in Friends with Benefits: Are They as Complicated in Real Life as They are in the Movies?
The film-industry and television have the last years done everything to present all sorts of intermingled sexual relationships and mixed families with several fathers and mothers in one family, as normal. No wonder several sexual diseases also came back into the picture.
Lots of my friends I lost in the 1980ies to Aids. Others lost touch because our world had become more demanding and by opening up the iron curtain several went east to find their luck over there, or went to other continents. Some of my girlfriends not having reached their goal at some international competitions got so much in an other direction our roads seemed to depart.
But at work, in class, at the repetition, in the coaches and hotels where we shared rooms, there was an (today) unbelievable spirit of unity and friendship. I also think at no other place I ever found people talking so much about spiritual matters.
That talking people had in the previous millennium today seems to be past time. The sexual encounters are just for fun and without any obligations for many. The protection which was asked for a few years ago does not seem to be prevalent any more.
Not any more ensuring protective measures and dissolute use of loose relationships with whoever ‘comes along’ or who feels like it, several sexually transmitted diseases are now back in the picture and bring some relationships under pressure.
Subcutaneous power for humanity 3 Facing changing attitudes
Subcutaneous power for humanity 4 Not crossing borders of friendship
Subcutaneous power for humanity 5 Loneliness, Virtual and real friends
In reply to:
Please do find additional reading:
- Hello America and atheists
- Built on or Belonging to Jewish tradition #4 Mozaic and Noachide laws
- Leaving the Old World to find better pastures
- 2nd Half 20th Century Generations pressure to achieve
- Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #4 The Family pact
- Expanding opportunities for more American families
- Being Religious and Spiritual 8 Spiritual, Mystic and not or well religious
- Bumpy road to success
- Increasing wealth gap of immense proportions in the Capitalist World
- Hard or easy ways to afford education
- Voice for the plebs
- Facing disaster fatigue
- Alternative four letter words
- Cancer and Life Lessons
- Men as God
- How we think shows through in how we act
- Christian the Lion
- Reflection for today: hating your brother
- The Greatest of These is Love
- Love envieth not
- You’re so used to
- God, my father, my closest friend
- Jew refering to be religious or to be a people
- Festival of Freedom and persecutions
- Clergy not contributing enough to America
- People are turning their back on Christianity
- Childish or reasonable ways
- Being Religious and Spiritual 1 Immateriality and Spiritual experience
- Christianity without the Trinity
- Women, conservative evangelicals and their counter-offensive
- Manifests for believers #1 Sex abuse setting fire to the powder
- Manifests for believers #2 Changing celibacy requirement
- Belonging to or being judged by
- Joseph Aloisius Ratzinger steps down as Pope Benedict XVI
- Responsibility for children who were molested by clergy
- A Society pleading poverty
- Dark side of our earthly existence
- The first on the list of the concerns of the saint
- I Only hope we find GOD again before it is too late
Of interest From other websites
- The Brotherhood of Combat
- Young Australians spend more time speaking to their friends on social media than in person
- A Beautiful World
- Revive your childlike nature!
- Profound Love Quotes #1
- Profound Love Quotes #2……The best kind of love!
- Profound Love Quote #9…..Tones of true love!
- You are Loved
- Sex With Friends: Are There Benefits?
- Dilemmas: Can we have sex and stay friends?
- Sex in Friendships, Friendship After Sex
- Friends with Benefits: Are They as Complicated in Real Life as They are in the Movies?
- The “Pedophile’s Paradise”
- Sex, Celibacy, and Priesthood: A Bishop’s Provocative Inquisition
- Sex abuse ‘widespread’ in Catholic Church, Philadelphia judge says
- Catholic Pedophile Priests: The Effect on US Society + A Report on the Crisis in the Catholic Church in the United States (PDF format)
- Child Abuse in the Catholic Church
- Belgium church abuse detailed by Adriaenssens report
- Child abuse report Adriaensens
- Open wounds of the Catholic Church
- The Fall of the Belgian Church byAlexandra Colen member of Parliament for the Flemish-secessionist party Vlaams Blok
- Paedophile Priests Scandal Rocks The Church of Rome
- The World-Wide Scandal of Christian Child Abuse Which The Child Welfare Charities Kept Hidden From Your Gaze
- Deceptive evil Jesuit anti-Pope Francis I asks for Forgiveness for paedophilia by clergy
- It’s out with the old as Christian values fall away
- Outrageous: Belgium court throws out 39 child sexabuse accusations against the Catholic Church, claim Holy See is protected by international law!
- Pedophile priests scandal and Roman Catholicism in Belgium
- Child Sexual Abuse within the Dutch Catholic Church
- A Report on the Crisis in the Catholic Church in the United States
- Should Catholics return to an abusive home?
- Australia: Catholic Church tried to get the Police to withhold critical information about criminal Priests
- Seducing Spirits – Can they live in the church? Pt. 2(pamsheppard.wordpress.com) + Seducing Spirits – Can they live in the church? Pt. 2(endtimeebooklibrary.com)
- The Nuns’ Stories
- Catholic church asking for forgiveness and promising to take action against child-abusers
- Pope: Child abuse criticism unfair
- Pope Francis asks forgiveness for child abuse by clergy
- ‘Judeo-Christianity’ – More Jewish mocking and hatred of Jesus Christ
- Did The Catholic Church Hatch The Blasphemous Heresy of “Life Begins At Conception” For Sexual Reasons?
- Jailed deacon slams Dominican Catholic Church’s “degenerate” priesthood
- LA Bishop With Secret Family Resigns
- Being a Catholic Priest – and Married
- Thousands abused by Dutch priests, says report
- Tens of thousands of children abused in Dutch Catholic institutions, report says
- The Girl Who Took On The Watchtower – Candace Conti Speaks Out
- The Watchtower Punished: Society loses legal battle over child abuse case
- “We will decide who is a predator!” – New Watchtower Instructions to Elders on Child Abuse
- 10 things teachers want to say to parents, but can’t (theguardian.com)
Something I’m starting to hear with worrying frequency within the primary school setting is “my daughter’s my best friend”. Often, this rings alarm bells. Your kids aren’t your mates. You’re their parent, and your responsibility is to provide them with guidance and boundaries, not to drag them into your own disputes. Your nine-year-old doesn’t need to know about your bitter feud with his friend’s mother, or which dad you’ve got the hots for at the school gate. In the years to come he or she may realise that some of their own problems (social alienation, in its various forms, being a prime example) might have something to do with exposure to that sort of talk at an early age.
It’s difficult to teach someone who doesn’t want to learn, but it’s near impossible to teach someone who thinks they know it all already. Conversations about effort and attitude aside, it would be worth reminding them that they’ll soon have senior school expectations to cope with. If any of this sounds familiar, could you maybe think about what you might do to help deal with it?
- Communist Leader Wants Cities Renamed Stalingrad and Leningrad (themoscowtimes.com)
Russia’s Communist leader has voiced support for a referendum to rename the city of Volgograd as Stalingrad, and has suggested that St. Petersburg readopt its Soviet-era name of Leningrad.”Only two cities have been subjected to name changes after the Great Patriotic war — Leningrad and Stalingrad” Communist Party head Gennady Zyuganov told Russian News Service.
- Russian Radio Phones from 1950s (englishrussia.com)
In 1957, Leonud Kupriyanovich received a copyright certificate for “radiophone” – an automatic radio telephone with a direct line. Through an automatic telephone station this unit could be connected to any subscriber of a telephone network within the coverage area of the “radiophone” transmitter. At that time it was the first valid set of radio telephony equipment, demonstrating the principle of the “radiophone”. It was named after the inventor, LC-1 .
- Mariinsky hires first American dancer (rbth.ru)
When Keenan Kampa joined the Boston Ballet two years ago, it was not quite as thrilling as it should have been. As happy as she was, the dancer quietly nurtured another dream. After three long, grueling years of study at the prestigious Vaganova Ballet Academy in St. Petersburg, Kampa felt restless, and a little wistful in America. “It was a hard period when I left Russia for Boston. You get used to that system,” Kampa said, referring to the style of Vaganova, the feeder school to the Mariinsky Ballet, formerly the Kirov.
+On Sept. 2, 2012, 23-year-old Keenan Kampa flew to St. Petersburg to begin her first full season with the Mariinsky Ballet, and will join the company on its U.S. tour this month, which includes stops in California and Washington, D.C. As a new member of the corps, she intends to keep the mighty work ethic she has become known for — even in Russia. As the first American dancer in the company, she does not want to step on toes. But she has her aspirations. “Like any dancer, I want to move up the ranks and become a world-class dancer and an artist,” she said. What remains unsaid is whether the foreigner-averse Mariinsky, already breaking new ground by hiring Kampa, would ever cultivate an American all the way up to first soloist or principal dancer.
- Jamaican Research: School Counselling was not born, it evolved – Part 2 (theislandjournal.wordpress.com)
Alfred Binet and his colleague T. Simon, in 1905, “developed an instrument to measure mental ability. This was used to categorize students according to aptitude in the Paris school system”. This practise was adopted by the U.S., where standardized tests were utilised to track students according to ability. Psychologists and counsellors were used to select, recruit, and train military personnel, in the 1940s. This propelled the counselling movement in schools by providing ways to test students and meet their needs. Schools accepted these military tests openly. School counselling advanced to incorporate the use of assessment instruments which stemmed from its use by the military.
- Socially awkward human seeks advice on friendship. (ask.metafilter.com)
Should I leave things be and just let the friendship be finished or should I try and message him to apologize? Even if I were to message him I have no idea what to say or where to begin – that’s another reason I never replied to him originally. I don’t have a lot of close friends so I always really valued his friendship and made sure he knew that.
- Resurrecting Friendship (wheatleyscholars.wordpress.com)
Friendship is something that happens, like rain happens, or eating breakfast happens. It is a term so loosely defined that it is not unusual to hear someone start a sentence with “I have a friend who…” when that “friend” is in reality hardly an acquaintance. Let’s not even begin talking about the Facebook definition of friend. As such, when friends appear and disappear on our social horizons, we often go back to eating our dinners and watching Modern Family and don’t even realize what just happened.
- Bromance, UST, and Romantic Friendships (selehenbauer.wordpress.com)
A person can have a variety of different relationships with other people; they can be aromantic (non-romantic) And asexual. This would be your mother, your platonic friend, your coworker (not the one you are sleeping with), your mail carrier, your stranger on the bus who always sits next to you and smells of pee. They can be romantic And sexual. This would be your spouse, or committed partner of whatever sort you may have. You could have multiples of these if you are poly, or cheating. They can be aromantic But sexual.
- It’s Probably Just Me (vertwo.wordpress.com)
Has our world become a place where people seek each others’ approval? I just can’t help but to observe the fact that every single day seems like a quest for validation. Maybe I won’t call it seeking each others’ approval, because approval can be put in many ways – romantic approval, employment approval, friendship/respect approval… those have been around since the dawn of civilization. I’m talking about people seeking attention and validation regarding every move they take because of what social media has created. It appears as though every single invention that were initially thought to be a force for good turns out to be a mutant that grows out.